Tuesday, August 7, 2012


Tonight I took all of my standard ni-night drugs, both prescription and over-the-counter.  And since I have been having migraines for about a week, I decided to take 2 of the migraine medicine, which is my standard dose.

Now, I am aware that taking Lortab 1.0 keeps me wide awake, but I have taken this same dose many times with no adverse effect. 

Guess from now on I will be more cautious so that I am not up until 2:30 in the morning.  This is distressing cause I took my pills about 8:30 and laid down in bed, under the fan, with my CPAP hoping to get a good night’s sleep to start a wonderful day tomorrow.

Life never turns out the way you want.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Things that I have

She had considerable weight loss over the previous 6 weeks, poor sleep, feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, decline in self care, low energy, increased startle responses, flashbacks of physical and emotional abuse


She would also hear self-deprecating voices when she looked into the mirror.



Migraine headaches

Thursday, May 24, 2012


Whenever I type a psych report that gives symptoms of depression, it seems to always strike a cord in my life.  Guess that is telling something about me.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012


When I opened my computer this afternoon, my Windows Live Writer came up automatically.  Was someone telling me something? 

I have been wanting to start up blogging, getting my thoughts down on paper and saving them for posterity. 

During the past year I have had money problems.  Like earning less than $1000 a month.  Does not go very far these days.  But God has watched out for me.  Whenever there was a dire need, the was a supply. 

Now I am truly blessed.  My old job working for HCA doing transcription was phased out.  In other words, they decided to farm out the work.  The good thing was the company, Superior Global, would take each transcriptionist on.  BUT..  they only wanted full time, which was wonderful for me.  So I go from about $100 a week to about $300 if I work hard. 

Life is great. 

Then come the challenges.  I prefer challenges instead of trials because that is just what it is.  Something to do, something to surpass, something to overcome.

First, Bear went to jail.  There is no other way to put it.  He tangled with the electric man, and the man lost.  I do so wish they would knock on the door before they do anything.

Then, it would be so easy to just move into the basement and forget upstairs.  Upstairs is a mess and I don’t know how to change. 

I am thinking a trip to the Laundromat would be an excellent place to start.  Lots of clean clothes, lots of hangers, lots of drawers to fill.  It will probably take me a couple of days to sort through everything and take it out to the car.

The kitchen is another matter.  I am thinking a great big trashcan would be the best bet.  Get rid of everything and start over.  Do better next time.  I certainly cannot do worse.

And that is just the beginning.  I can go forward from here.  I want to move forward.  I want to do so many things, so this is where I will start.

To all my friends and family…  Welcome to the beginning.  We are going to have so much fun gettting rid of things.

I have a question....  Why is it that when I need something, everyone else wants something from me.  I would so LOVE having some help, but always the help comes with contingencies.  I am tired of contingencies.  Just do SOMETHING. There is so much that needs done and is not getting done. 

Saturday, April 7, 2012


Why are we so concerned about what others think?  Why is it that we do not seem to be able to live for ourselves and not for what others see.  Live for yourself.  Serve yourself and no one else.    Be concerned with what is important to you and your family so that you can enjoy the life you have chosen.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Here I am today

I sit here, alone, in the silence.  Not because I like silence, but because I am doing NOTHING.  Not just staring at the ceiling, or the floor.  I am sitting here on the computer looking at books to download to my MP3.  Not that I need more books.  There are a half-dozen books on that player that I have not listened to yet.  I am collecting books for the future.  Like I am ever going to run out. 
Books are my new CRACK.  It is an addiction for me.  Not a bad addiction, but an addiction none the less. 
I just finished The Hunger Games trilogy, and cannot wait to see the movie.  I may even go the first week, which is not something I usually do.  If you have not read them, get a copy from the library.  Or do what I am doing to feed my addiction.  My public library, Brigham City Public Library http://www.bcpl.lib.ut.us/, has a Download Center.  From there I can check out many, many books as either e-books or audiobooks.  I love it.  These books are less crack, since listening does not keep my mind as busy as reading.  (I know, that does not make sense.) 
Anyway, contact your library.  They will probably have something similar.  If not, check out books on CD from the library and put them onto your MP3 or IPOD.  You will love it.
Now…  I need to GET BACK TO WORK.