Dell:

I wish heaven had a phone so I could hear your voice again. I thought of you today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday, and days before that too. I think of you in silence.

I thought of you today. As I drove home from getting my new keyboard. We should have stopped somewhere for dinner and had such a good time. I miss the things we used to do together. It is so very hard to go for a drive, to go anywhere that we used to go to together. How can I go on trips that we had planned together. How can I do things that we had such plans to do. We had such a life planned, and now I don’t know what I want to do.

I often speak your name. Sometimes I ask why you did this to me, even though I realize you did not leave on purpose, that you wanted to stay with us. I think of the plans we each made individually and the plans we made together. When I think of the fun we would have had with each other, it brings a tear to my eye.

I will miss you every day of my life. Even though I am attempting to build myself a new life, to be involved in things, every day I miss you. I hate going to bed without you. I hate that I cannot get things done around the house. It was only this week that I realized that all of the things that I had done were all for you. Nothing seems worth doing anymore. I do realize that fact, but it does not change anything, and I still don’t get much done.

I have many memories of you, of the things we did and of the places we visited. You will always hold a sweet spot in my heart. I remember the love we shared and the good times we enjoyed. Thank you so much for all you have done for us. For the good times and the not so good times. I will always love you. No one will ever replace you. Not even George.

Your memory is a keepsake, from which I'll never part......

God has you in his arms and I have you in my heart ~ and you will never leave.

Memorial Day

Trish and I went to Grief Group last night. We were followed by one other lady, and it looked like we would be the only attendees. Then Others arrived. That is when we realized just how fortunate we are. One lady’s husband committed suicide. Another died of a lung clot in his 50s with a daughter that is 9 years old.

We did a worksheet that brought lots of tears, but it was cleansing too.

The social worker suggested not avoiding holidays, so i am hereby inviting everyone to my house this Memorial Day. There used to be a get together at the park with all of the family, but I am here and have a great apple tree, so let’s everyone gather and enjoy.

We can reminisce about those who have gone before us. Bring stories and pictures. I will have my printer/copier set up to share.

I'm Back

I had no idea how long it had been since I had blogged last. I knew it had been a while, but not this long

When I started this Blog it was to chronical the retirement Dell and I would enjoy together. Well, he has changed everything. So, when you or your spouse does not feel well, now matter what else is happening, GO TO THE DOCTOR. And keep going back until you find out what is causing the problem.

Dell had a Neuroendocrine tumor, which caused liver failure and his death.

So this definitely is the beginning of My New Life. Today I am calling the company to get all of the information about pension and his life insurance. Now I have to call Social Security to see if I will be getting something from them.

APPLESAUCE SQUARES

APPLESAUCE SQUARES

INGREDIENTS

1 cup butter
2 cups white sugar (I used Splenda granules)
2 egg
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups raisins (I used Chocolate Chips)
3 cups applesauce
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon and 1 teaspoon baking soda
1-1/2 teaspoons salt
2-3/4 cups and 3 tablespoons chopped nuts

Preheat oven to 350 degrees I. Line one sheet cake baking pan with parchment paper. Cream butter, sugar, eggs and vanilla; beat well. Blend in cinnamon, flour, baking soda and salt; add raisins, nuts and applesauce. Mix well. Place batter into the prepared baking pan and bake at 350 degrees I for 30 minutes. Cut into squares and serve.

Since Dell is diabetic, I used Splenda instead of sugar and could not tell the difference.

I could not find the raisins (and they may have been eaten), so used chocolate chips. Hint: 2 bags are too many. Use only 1 bag.

I put pecans in half of the bars. My applesauce was homemade and was very thick, so I added water until the consistency seemed right, maybe 1/3 to 1/2 cup.

There was left over, which I put into cupcake pans. They ended up being about an inch thick and were wonderful. I cut parchment to line the bottom of each and they baked wonderfully, except that I should have sprayed the pan with Pam first.

Enjoy. We sure did.

I got a new keyboard

Next Tuesday is my birthday. And I have always wanted a wireless mouse.  So, since Dell is still laid up in bed, he bought me a birthday present at the store today.

I am now the proud owner of a wireless mouse and wireless keyboard. I have always wanted a mouse, but when I checked out the different computer mouse, mice, mouses…, the box on the next shelf with both a cordless mouse and cordless keyboard was on $20.00 more.  It is a Logitech keyboard, mouse and speaker in a box.  So far the mouse and keyboard are great.  I can’t wait to try to speakers.

Surgery

Dell is having knee replacement surgery tomorrow. We have spent the past week busy, busy,busy. Everyone wish him well.

Trish is coming home tomorrow after work to help for the weekend. Originally the surgery was scheduled for Monday, so she took the day off. Unfortunately she cannot get Fridays off, so I will be picking her up.

Wish us well.

Rose